agnix:
June 8th 2010
Madden Cover Jinx Strikes Drew Brees in Form of Massive Oil Spill
For years, Saints quarterback Drew Brees believed the fabled “Madden cover jinx” was a fairy tale dreamed up by superstitious people drawing parallels between unrelated events. However, recent events off the coast of Louisiana have made a believer out of Brees, who fears the massive gulf oil spill is a direct result of his being placed on the cover of Madden 2011.
“Wow, I always thought that Madden cover curse fake,” Brees said while watching coverage of the disaster. “I mean, the minute I get put on the cover – boom – there’s a big oil disaster right of the coast of the state I’m sitting in. They say the damage could ruin the Louisiana fishing industry. I guess I should feel a little guilty. If I didn’t have such a great year last year, none of this would be happening right now.”
Brees was named Madden cover boy on April 22. On the very same day, CNN reported that oil was leaking from an underwater rig that was damaged by an explosion two days earlier.
“I didn’t even get to enjoy being the cover boy for a day before the jinx hit,” Brees said. “I’m literally sitting there on my couch admiring the thing for the first time when breaking news hits CNN that there is a massive amount of oil leaking out of a damaged rig in – you guessed it – the Gulf of Mexico, right off the coast of – you guessed it – Louisiana, which is the state where - you guessed it - New Orleans is. I just hope they don’t put me on the cover of
Sports Illustrated this year. I don’t want a sink hole to swallow the French Quarter.”
On the bright side, Brees said, at least the curse didn’t take the form of an injury or some other team-related misfortune.
“I guess I should just be happy that I didn’t tear my ACL or something,” said Brees. “I mean, sure, the oil leak is catastrophic in its own right, but if something happened to me, the people of this region would have nobody to play for them. Now at least I can go out and dedicate this season to all those affected by the Gulf oil spill of 2010.”
Not everybody believes the Madden cover jinx is responsible for the gulf oil spill. In fact, some of Brees’ own teammates believe the connection between the two events is “a bit of a stretch.”
"Oh, come on,” said receiver Marques Colston. “I think Drew is getting a little too caught up in the whole jinx thing. Just because the oil spill happened at around the same time as he was named cover boy doesn’t mean the two things are related. He needs to be less self-centered and have a greater world view. Don’t get me wrong, though. I do believe in the Madden cover jinx, I just think it will manifest itself in some other way, such as the insanely painful and debilitating back spasms I’ve been having the past few weeks.”
"People who work together will win, whether it be against complex Football Defenses,
or the problems of Modern Society." - Vince Lombardi